If you’re ready to learn how to create healthy boundaries, this post is for you, my friend!
No matter the type of life you live or the people you surround yourself with, there is likely at least one person in your life that you could benefit from having a healthy boundary between the two of you.
Does this make you think of anyone?
Even if you can’t think of someone, take a look at some things I’ve grouped together. It can be easy to dismiss someone’s behavior for a multitude of reasons we tell ourselves. Meaning, there are times that we don’t even realize we should be creating a healthy boundary.
Let’s explore some ways to know when you should create healthy boundaries with others:
- They say or do things that make you feel bad about yourself
- They are constantly complaining or speaking negatively
- You feel anxiety or are stressed when you know you are going to be around them
- It feels like they’re holding you back from pursuing or accomplishing your goals
With that being said, life is much too short to allow yourself to be treated badly.
You deserve to be happy and live a life that you love – and that’s hard to do if you don’t establish healthy boundaries. The good news is that if you’re willing to do some work, you can set and express your limits with others. Let’s dive into a few key points that I hope will helpful to you!
Realize You Have a Choice
You must first acknowledge that you have the power to choose if you want someone to be in your life, and to what extent. We tend to think that we are stuck in the situations that life hands us, but for the most part, we are in full control for what we participate in.
For example, if you have someone that is toxic in your life (this is true even if they’re family), you do not have to participate in any of their negativity.
Their Problems Aren’t Your Problems
Sometimes, listening to others’ problems on a daily basis can weigh on you – both mentally and physically. This is especially true if you’re naturally a ‘fixer.’ You have to learn to disassociate yourself from them and their issues.
This does not mean that you do not care or want the best for this person, but what it does mean is that you aren’t going to compromise your happiness and mental health in response to their issues.
This can be particularly difficult if you’re dealing with a personality that tends to focus more on themselves than you. They may get upset with you for setting boundaries, they may call you selfish or tell you that you’re making their situation worse – but it’s never selfish to do what’s best for your health.
Blood Isn’t Always Thicker Than Water
We often have the most struggles with our families. It can be difficult to discern situations because we tend to be bias when it’s our family, or we may find ourselves taking up for them.
Something important to remember is that it doesn’t matter if they’re your blood relatives or not – if someone is treating you badly, making you feel badly about yourself, or just makes you feel drained emotionally – you need to create a healthy boundary to protect your sanity.
Don’t Feel Guilty for Taking Care of Yourself
You may have tried to create a healthy boundary before, but then were roped back in by someone. They may have made you feel guilty about this decision. Don’t let them steal your joy, my friend.
They don’t have that power, and please don’t give it to them. Only you have the power to choose what you want in your life. If you want peace, then that’s what you should allow yourself to be have.
For the most part, when that person is in the right frame of mind and if they’re wanting to grow and better their life, they will understand your decision and will come back around later.
I hope that you’ve gained something from this post. and that it will help boost you to create healthy boundaries in your life. You deserve to be happy and have peace in your life. Those who love you and are true supporters will always want that for you too, and respect all of the boundaries you set.
Let’s Chat!
Have you created healthy boundaries with others?
Is there someone in your life that has made it difficult to separate yourself from?
Do you tend to put others’ happiness before your own?
Good motivations ❤
Thank you so much, Kinga! ❤
Setting boundaries is soooo important but something I often struggle with! In fact I didn’t even understand how important it is until recently. Really great post!!!
It’s definitely difficult to do, but so worth it, my friend! Thank you so much for reading!! 🙂
setting boundaries is of utmost importance….. recent actions of people i call my friends have opened my eyes to the fact that i need to think of myself first before anyone else… i always come through for people but most at times don’t get back that same gesture.
Glowyshoe’s blog
It really is. I feel for you, friend, I’ve been there. It’s so difficult sometimes to set boundaries with others that you’re really close with, especially when you’re very giving and not getting any respect back. If they’re you’re true friends, they will understand and change their behavior. ❤️
Thank you for this. These are great tips that I can definitely try with my mom. We don’t have the greatest relationship.
Jennifer
Effortlessly Sophisticated
You are more than welcome, friend! I’m sorry to hear that, I will be praying things get better between the two of you. I had a very difficult relationship with my mom for years and for me, that setting the healthy boundaries helped, and ultimately, we are closer than ever now.
Boundaries are something I’ve been trying to work on more and more… especially with family it can be hard! These are all great tips.
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
I agree, friend, it is very difficult with family! I hope these tips will help you! 🙂
I felt like this was a post I had to read! I’ve been dealing with a bit of negative criticism from my work colleagues and I’m learning to distance myself from work and not taking everything personally. I’m definitely going to take more time for myself and not feel guilty about it x
splasheswithfabulosity.blogspot.com
That is a tough spot, Clarissa. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that, I have had some similar issues before as well. Creating those healthy boundaries will definitely help you – it’s difficult, but with some time, it will get easier.
Setting boundaries is so important! Thanks for sharing these tips here.
Thank you so much for reading, Vera!
I think something I am guilty with is hiding too much of my own feelings, when someone else is going through something. But it doesn’t help so I agree, looking after yourself is so important!
https://www.emilyclareskinner.com
That’s definitely understandable, Emily. It can be difficult to share our raw feelings, but you’re right – it will be much more helpful to both you and the other person if you are open with them. It may not seem like it always at the time, but you deserve to have your happiness and protect where your energy goes.
Acknowledging that you have a choice is so important! A lot of times, most of us think we have to do something.
http://www.rdsobsessions.com
Thanks so much, Rach! 🙂
This is so important! It is something I had to do previously with some family members, and althought it was hard, I think it really improved my mental health as well as the relationship I had with them.
Ashlee | https://www.maybeafterbrunch.com
I can definitely relate, friend. It’s the most difficult when it’s family, but it’s well worth it to set those boundaries and in my experience, it’s definitely helped my relationships with them too.
Healthy boundaries are so important! It’s been a tough thing with family sometimes. I highly recommend the book Boundaries by Cloud & Townsend. Great post Ashley!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
I agree, it definitely is, my friend. Thank you so much for the recommendation, I’ll check it out! 🙂 Thank you so much!
Self care is very important! If you don’t do any good to yourself, you can’t do any good to the others. Such helpful tips!
xx Simone
Little Glittery Box
That’s so true, Simone! Thanks so much for reading! 🙂
These are all great tips to have healthy boundaries. I sure needed it x
Laura
https://www.beautywithlala.com/
Aww, thank you so much, Laura! I’m so happy you found this post helpful.
Boundaries are so important, and sometimes the most difficult to set. Taking care of yourself is a big one.
You are absolutely right. It is difficult, but so helpful in the long run. Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment, Nathalia!
Ah so true about families lol. And I have gone through my share of drama filled friendships but have moved on from that. Great advice and tips here.
Allie of
http://www.allienyc.com
I’m with you, Allie! 🙂 None of those drama-filled “friends” are worth our time or energy, but it’s difficult to navigate through it at the time. Thanks so much!
Such amazing advices here !
Thanks you so much for sharing this.
Sometimes boundaries are so important to help us feel better about ourselves
xx
Margot
https://troughthepasturesofthesky.com
Aww, thank you so much, Margot! 🙂
This is such a great and informative post. Creating boundaries is so important and I learn that on hard way.
New Post – https://www.exclusivebeautydiary.com/2020/06/dior-backstage-custom-eye-palette-001.html
Thank you so much, friend! I am with you, I learned it the hard way as well. Sadly, I think many of us do.
This is beautiful! Boundaries are really important- setting them + sticking to them makes for healthier relationships!
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
Aww, thank you so much, Ashley!
This is a big lesson I learned in my life. I think I’ve finally mastered the boundaries and now it’s a lot easier to set.
Hope you have a beautiful day!
http://www.fashionradi.com
Oh, that’s so wonderful, Radi! I hope you have a fantastic day, my friend!
I have been learning more to set boundaries too! At times, it can be difficult but I think it’s necessary and we need to put ourselves first sometimes 🙂
https://www.mariannyc.com/favorite-healthy-quarantine-snacks-food/
You are so right, Mariann. 🙂 Thank you so much for reading!
Self care is number one for me, as I too believe that if you can’t take of your self then you are not able to take care of others. Thanks for the motivation and have a wonderful weekend.
xoxo
Lovely
http://www.mynameislvoely.com
That’s awesome, Lovely! Aww, thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful week and upcoming weekend! 🙂
Great tips! It’s so important to have boundaries, to protect our mental health xo
Makeup Muddle
Thank you so much, Gemma! 🙂
I want to point out that point that says blood is not always thicker than water. pEOPLE TEND TO STAY IN A TOXIC FAMILY ENVIRONMENT BECAUSE THEY ARE RELATED., WHICH IS VERY BAD AND CAN DESTROY YOUR HAPPINESS.
https://www.melodyjacob.com/2020/06/beautiful-birthday-to-queen-melody.html
You are spot on, Melody! We think we are trapped into participating in toxic relationships with family members – but we have the power to change all of that, if we just create those healthy boundaries.
These are good tips! I think my pastor said it well in a message one week – we need to say no to the things that don’t matter so we can say yes to the things that do! I’m really trying to be more selective and not over extend myself. it’s a lot easier now with the virus, while life at home is incredibly busy with the little ones, I am finding there isn’t as many appointments or things to rush to as it’s all done online or has been cancelled, it makes life a lot simpler and I’m loving it! 🙂
Hope you are having a lovely weekend 🙂 It’s a rainy winter day here!
Oh, I love what your pastor said, Mica! 🙂 That’s good stuff! I can definitely relate to life being a lot quieter and more simple during quarantine, and I’m going to take a lot of that into post-quarantine life.
Aww, I hope you’re having better weather this week, friend! It’s a bright and sunny day here, so far. 😉
Love this babe! I’ve always been so bad with setting boundaries for myself so this is sure to help!
-Didier
http://www.didieryhc.com
Thank you so much! You can do it, Didier! 🙂 Let me know if you need anything at all.
Great post Ashley, and great tips for setting healthy boundaries.
Julia x
https://www.thevelvetrunway.com/
Thank you so much, Julia!! 🙂
Mental health is also very important 🙂
Absolutely, Kinga! 🙂
You had me at “blood isn’t always thicker than water”. So damn true what you said, girl. Some family members are just meh, but because they’re family I let them be. Not anymore!
https://missymayification.co.uk
Totally understandable, Missy! We can still love them and set those healthy boundaries. Often times, they will come around later on and things will get better with our relationships.
This is such an important topic right now xx
How To Get Shiny Healthy Hair With Spring + Vine | Vegan Fashion + Lifestyle Blog
Thank you so much, Caitlin!
Hi Ashley, oh it feels like you just wrote this post to me! 🙂
I’m at my families home at the moment because of the current covid situation and in the first two weeks I struggled a lot with taking boundaries and time for myself, while family members came all day long with problems to me. Normally I’m exactly that kind of a “fixer” person who always wants to help others and I tend to forget about myself. So I’m trying to get better with saying no and not feeling bad about it myself. But it’s so important to know your own limits and proctect yourself.
Really great post! I saved it on my pinterest mindset category 🙂
🙂 I’m glad this post spoke to you, my friend! I can definitely see that being a tough situation, I’m a “fixer” too! I love that you’re working on setting those healthy boundaries. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with protecting your mindset.
Thank you SO much for saving this post, I truly appreciate it!! 🙂
Great article, It’s very helpful. We should maintain a healthy distance whenever we feel that something goes wrong, it doesn’t matter it’s in your family or your friend circle.
Have a great day.
Kisses 🙂
http://www.rakhshanda-chamberofbeauty.com/
I love this – it is so insightful. I have trouble creating boundaries with my friends.
Demi | https://demibang.com/